The Necessary Things

Apostolic/Discernment

I've listened to three video podcasts from Mars Hill. I try to fly below the radar on popular Christian personalities/books/music etc, but I have been learning many things and experiencing conviction in many areas of my life.

I've never realized the connection between apostolic leadership and discernment. Growing up I observed that God gave me the gift of discernment, but it was not until I joined staff with Campus Crusade that I experienced my apostolic leadership giftings.

Mark Driscoll shared in one of the video podcasts the necessity of discernment in his life as he planted and grew Mars Hill. My intern Dan is a fan of Driscoll, but more importantly is also gifted in apostolic leadership and (surprise!) the gift of discernment.

Some of my discerning abilities comes from living in a broken home and around indirect communicators. I developed 'long antennas' that could understand body language, verbal cues, and other forms of non-verbal communication. Also a severe distrust of authority figures produced a constant questioning/thinking/perceiving of people.

I'm thankful that God has redeemed this part of me and for its connection to ministry. As He has allowed me to be a part of many start-ups in ministry, I've been able to apply the gift of discernment for kingdom purposes.

My intern Dan and Driscoll have encouraged me to apply this gift even more. It can feel pretentious to be able to discern issues and realities in the lives of others, but as Dan and Driscoll have used their gift in my life through, I have certainly benefitted and been pushed towards deeper transformation and surrender in my life.

Have you been a part of starting up something, either in ministry or elsewhere? What role did discernment play in the process?

photo courtesy of  √oхέƒx™'s photostream

Eyes of Faith

Our family is set to spend twelve weeks away from home on assignment. In addition, the financial cost of the endeavor at this point feels out of reach.

Thankfully the Lord has given me some key passages to dwell on as we walk with eyes of faith.

• James 1:3-6--I'm developing your perseverance; don't lose hope and doubt in me.
• Luke 23:26-49--I [the Lord] work most powerfully in death and surrender.

I've grown accustomed to this pruning process of cutting back on the things I rely on besides the Lord so that the good things he is doing in my heart might grow more fully.

Still this journey becomes emotionally wearying and taxes all of my mental and physical strength at times to keep moving forward.

On the Brink of Collapse

Thought this video captured how I feel sometimes. Emphasis on the word 'feel.' I know that God will never leave me, and will be faithful to me all my life. My heart still wrestles with the loss of a father I thought would never leave when I was five years old, and the fear that my heavenly father just might do the same. It seems as though every negative circumstances causes my soul to behave much like these machines.

Machines that Almost Fall Over from Michael Kontopoulos on Vimeo.

Find the 1%

I have to confess I'm a magic-bullet guy that's always looking for that one thing that will catapult my ministry/life/golf game/basketball game/gardening skills to the next level. I loved this section by Ranjith Kumaran in a guest-post on Andrew Chen's blog:

"Conversion lift doesn’t always come from groundbreaking changes in product, offers, or funnel analysis. These days I will look for ten 1% lifts in conversion before one 10% magic bullet; in reality there probably aren’t a lot of 10% lifts left after the first handful. Get into the groove of turning knobs a little at a time, learning, and iterating; you never did this further down the funnel when you were selling ads and you are likely out of practice. Other mundane things that you haven’t invested in start to get a lot of play: customer service SLAs, quality of service, and even the right terms of service are all areas which can drive conversion. Look for a 1% lift in conversion right now, it’s in there somewhere; then do it again a million times."

My life does not lend itself to ten percent lifts; three kids all under four years old, a ministry that is now four years old (read close to adolescence), and seven years on staff with CCC. I have to confess I do not look for the one percent conversions in my life. They do not feel as good or show up as dramatically, but Kumaran illustrates that adolescent organizations offer an inordinate amount of one percents, and a scant amount of ten percents.

There is a friend of mine who loves the real Magic Bullet pictured above. I'll let him comment on why that one is a legit object of focus :)   

Dismantilization

That word, whether or not it's real, describes my week of ministry. Starting Sunday, I have engaged in conversations with the goal of dismantling a broken thought or attitude and rebuilding it in line with what's real. 

My team agreed that we could spend 80% of our time on this area, especially when it comes to relating with students. Even our student leaders struggle to understand how our vision connects to our ministry structure, and how their role precisely fits into the bigger picture. Not only that, but also an undercurrent of distrust and believing the worst in the staff team seems to creep in every Spring.

I spoke at our weekly meeting from Haggai, which reminded me that the prophetic role exists to dismantle what is false and rebuild what is real. Walter Brueggemann says Jeremiah and Second Isaiah represent perfectly dismantling and rebuilding respectively. 

I've noticed a growing need for prophets not only in CCC, but also in the church. It seems many churches and ministries, similar to the economy, have overextended in some fashion and need some sort of pruning. That certainly encourages me as I constantly wonder if the American church will ever value prophets. Biblical history says no way, but you never know...

Fly By Your Instruments

When pilots become confused by the situation, they rely on their instruments to guide their decisions, not what they see or what they feel. Our team engaged in a discussion where two equally valid but different points of view surfaced. In my first couple years of ministry, I would not have understood how to move forward and even what should guide the process of coming to a decision.

In fact, personal experience has revealed that it is usually the most persuasive person or the one with the most power. I loved that instead of these factors, our team used Critical Mass to navigate and lead the decision making process. Critical mass in our movement contains Leaders (staff and student leaders), Laborers (emerging leaders and the masses of students), and Loot (money, influence, expertise).These three categories help break down the movement into its most critical parts, while clearly illuminating strengths and weaknesses at the same time.

Critical Mass connects the ideal with the real by facilitating an honest evaluation of how the vision is ACTUALLY playing out. I noticed that as the leader with the most power on the team, using this grid helped the team understand my position and seemed to level the playing field in the sense that there was no leader card I could play; we were all working together in the midst of our differences. I also noticed that it empowered the staff team to speak up and share their passions in a way that everyone could understand and honestly evaluate. Team members did not have to be eloquent or extremely persuasive to actively participate in the discussion.

I've noticed that because ministry is so personal the personality of an individual can weigh too heavily in team discussions and the decision making process. It can allow leaders to bully their way through conversations or team members to over or under value themselves based on their personality. This can be detrimental to a team that has an introspective member with lots of ministry experience and wisdom but is the least vocal or persuasive speaker.

If you are on a team either in ministry or otherwise, what would you say are the instruments that guide the decision making process? Have you experienced a situation where either persuasiveness or personality was elevated beyond what the situation required?

Humble Pie

I'm amazed at how unaligned my heart can get in its posture toward ministry activity. Even this morning during my time with the Lord I nearly missed the foundational attitude for it: thankfulness.

Psalm 50 contrasts Israel's unaligned heart that believes God needs their sacrifices and offerings with his heart that longs for them to give out of thankfulness. He describes his absolute ownership and sovereignty over creation to help Israel see that he is never deficient or dependent on them for supply.

I've been in Mark chapter six for three weeks now, and it's amazing to observe the contrast between the disciples experience when they separate from his presence and when they are connected and near him . When he is near they experience abundance, success, authentic participation in building the kingdom, and many other 'positives.' When they distance themselves from Jesus they experience toil, discouragement, fear, anxiety, disbelief, hopelessness, and frustration to name a few.

The picture that Mark paints in chapter six continues to become more robust in my eyes as I read and re-read the account. The fishes and loaves was more than a demonstration of Jesus' power and divinity--it is a metaphor for service and leadership in a kingdom with an entirely different set of economic principles than that of this world.

I'm curious as to what experiences and passages in Scripture you have come across that have revealed a similar theme. How have you responded? What have been some transformational results that have come from it?

Image courtesy of ornellab's photostream.

Fishes and Loaves

"How many loaves do you have?' he asked. 'Go and see."--Jesus, Mark 6:38

The theme of my week has been this verse, particularly the second half. My week included multiple experiences and tasks both in my strengths and energizing and out of my strengths and de-energizing.

I love the 'go and see' part of the verse because Jesus wanted the disciples to know exactly how LITTLE resources they possessed. God has been making me aware of this reality in my own life--that I bring much less than I think, and that I try to compensate for that deficiency through self-effort.

Most amazing in this Gospel account and in my life is the way Jesus miraculously multiplies what is given to him. Not only that, but later on he gives thanks for the scant provisions which the disciples found. I'm finally getting on a deeper level the reality that it's never been about the quantity of my resources in seeing God's desires realized in my life, but amount the degree to which I'm surrendering my loaves and allowing him to multiply them.

I'm thankful for the account of my loaves that the Lord has orchestrated these last few weeks. It's refined my conviction to lead out of the Spirit and sheared off the false thoughts I have about possessing more loaves than he has given me and needing to strive out of the flesh and vain self-effort

Wisest Response I've Ever Heard

I'm reading Soul Nourishment, George Mueller's biography to start out the New Year. If you click on the title, you can read the book for free online.

Mueller models a life of prayer and dependence better than anyone I've read. I find myself humbled, convicted, and inspired by the manner in which he went about building orphanages.

My favorite quote so far comes when he's asked whether or not he's worried that upon his death his life work will be continued. Here's his response:

"My business is, with all my might, to serve my own generation by the will of God: in so doing I shall best serve the next generation, should the Lord Jesus tarry."

I'm often guilty of not understanding 'my business.' I confuse my business with God's and other people's business, causing anxiety, worry, fear, and self-striving. I admire Mueller's deep understanding of what it means to be a servant of God, and how he's able to live in the tension of seeking to see God work powerfully yet remaining restful and dependent on God.

I'm learning many lessons about how to pray, wait, and step out in faith from Mueller, but most of all I'm learning the significance of allowing the Lord to align my soul to His plans--resting from my own agenda yet convicted about passionate about His.

As my intern Dan would say:  "Such a stud!"

Context is King

While attending a CCC conference in San Diego the week after Christmas, I escaped for an hour and went for a bike ride along the coast. Although I've been cycling for over 2 years now, the experience seemed foreign and new.

The reason? In Chico I ride either in canyons or among orchards. It's also either ridiculously hot or cold in Chico, so as I headed out in mild weather along a beach, with the smell of salt water in my nose, my body almost could not recognize what I was doing.

Back at the conference, I heard a talk on placing our hope in heaven. I became convicted as I thought about how much the physical context affects my spiritual outlook. When the leaves on the trees fall off and the sun sets at 4:30, I become convinced that history, not solely the Fall season, has come to an end.

It's so hard for me to battle the false belief that God will abandon me, and when winter comes, it literally feels as though that must be true. However, when I look soberly at my context, I'm assured that winter is truly a season, not my destiny, and that the context that God longs for me to live in light of is heaven.

This picture I snapped along my ride encouraged me that this season of life where life is extremely challenging is truly only a season, and that my eternal context will be a place void of trial, hardship, and pain.